Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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