You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i love accidental penises.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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