weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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