are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
