He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
