More tranny stories later!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
