your thong is hanging out like whoa
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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