Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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