dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm like, not good at living.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
