was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
