She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
either way he was missing a nipple.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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