take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
