I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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