Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
