It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
