they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
