But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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