Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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