sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
