Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
