Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
