Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
