I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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