I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
