Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
