He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
