Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
