we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
