I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i need some magic done to my vagina
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
