Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
