ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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