Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
