well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
