She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
