dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
