He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
