but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
