Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize