Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
