talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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