remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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