Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
