her vagine was all disorganized.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
