pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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