dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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