careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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