when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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