Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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