She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
