need another drink. this is the easiest way
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
