i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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