gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
