its not stalking. its research.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You are the jesus of drinking
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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