I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
