what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
