Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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