youre lurking in front of me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize