when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
