at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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