The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
