Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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