so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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