those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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