Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
