No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i think i just lost a toe
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
