Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
