Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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