Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
