i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
