I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
