Kiss
Puke
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
